Forward and Back, Forche

Carolyn Forché

 

The Lost Suitcase

 

So it was with the suitcase left in front

of the hotel-cinched, broken-locked,

papered with world ports, carrying what

mattered until then-when as you turned your back

to cup a match it was taken, and the thief,

expecting valuables, instead found books written

wars, gold attic light, mechanical birds singing,

and the chronicle of your country's final hours.

What, by means of notes, you hoped to become:

a noun on paper, paper dark with nouns:

swallows darting through a basilica, your hands up

in smoke, a cloud about to open over the city, pillows

breathing shallowly where you had lain, a ghost

in a hospital gown, and here your voice,

principled, tender, soughing through

a fence woven with pine boughs:

Writing is older than glass but younger

than music, older than clocks or porcelain but younger than rope.

Dear one, who even in speaking are silent,

for years I have searched, usually while asleep,

when I have found the suitcase open, collecting snow,

still holding your vade mechum of the infinite,

your dictionary of the no-longer-spoken,

a commonplace of wounds, casually inflicted,

and the slender ledger of truly heroic acts.

Gone is your atlas of countries unmarked by war,

absent your manual for the preservation of hours.

The incunabulum is lost-both your earliest book

and a hatching place for your mechanical birds-

but the collection of aperçus having to do

with light laying its eggs in your eyes was found,

along with the prophecy that all mass murders were early omens.

In an antique bookshop I found your catechism of atrophied faiths,

so I lay you to rest without your Psalter,

or the monograph wherein you state your most

unequivocal and hard-won propositions:

that everything must happen but to whom doesn't matter.

Here are your books, as if they were burning.

Be near now, and wake to tell me who you were.

 

-The New Yorker, September 25, 2006, pp. 124-125

 

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 Kelyn Roberts 2017